So, did you miss me? No, thought not but for what it’s worth I didn’t miss you either!
Anyway my unfinished rant on the evils of global retailing seem to be pertinent given the sleight of hand and judicious accounting practices that now seem to be coming to light as a result of Tesco’s somewhat unfortunate PR issue concerning a large black hole in their expected pot of profit!
I shall write more on this monumental subject shortly but for now I leave with one question…is this the end of Tesco and possibly the start of the end of capitalist rape and pillage?
’til next time.
I’ve bitten my tongue for far too long on this issue but in a world where soundbites rule everything; its time to analyse the total and utter crap which is the self service checkout.
Oh where to start on this subject? Profit before customer service? Efficiency? Maximum hourly throughput, or any other buzz word or term of 21st Century capitalism and consumerism speak?
Just for the avoidance of doubt, I despise self service terminals with a passion. I despise that I have to process my own shop. Its bad enough that I have to trawl up and down the aisles looking for the things I want or need – whatever happened to a helpful assistant gathering your requests from the shelves?
It’s also bad enough that every month or so they (the evil ones) decide to completely rearrange the store to prevent you from doing your automated shop walk in the hope that you’ll buy new stuff that you don’t really need just because the finest organic sun blushed tomatoes happen to be where the washing up liquid was last time you shopped.
Actually I am going to stop now because I feel this needs much more reasoning as there’s a whole load of stuff brewing and I need to get it out succinctly.
So further thoughts on unexpected item to follow – now you didn’t expect that did you?
And to think this only started because I wanted a sandwich without queuing for ages..
Tesco, Saintsbury’s and the rest – you have been warned.
’til next time…..
A German court accepts a legalised bribe to not pursue a bribery trial?
You couldn’t make it up……
til next time…
Following an extensive OFSTED /DOE and DWP joint exercise;it appears that there is a new vision about to be unveiled which appears to finally confront the uncomfortable truth about the continuing growth of non compliant children within the state education system. A five year government backed study has shown that despite repeated attempts to identify juvenile delinquent behaviour as a result of exterior influences such as environment, social and physcological bias; the overriding influence is a hitherto unidentified condition now commonly known as YAPPP. Dr.Ivor Bigan acknowledged that the findings were potentially explosive and that the implications for social welfare reform would be far reaching.
Commencing in September this year, all primary and secondary school senior leadership teams will be establishing task forces to identify and target YAPPP cases for immediate and thorough reprogramming.
YAPPP:You’re a piss poor parent….
If you are a regular visitor to MoM then you will recall that i have major ongoing issues with a bramble that has decided to set up home in my otherwise pristine privet hedge! Seriously you have to admire the sheer cunning of mother nature in her ability to manufacture creatures plants and organisms that can be parachuted in at a moments notice to destroy your handywork. I am losing count of the episodes this year where my efforts have been sabbotaged by an army of natural suicide bombers.
But back to the bramble. Today I decided to cut the hedge using my petrol hedgecutter. Now, if you don’t have a hedge that is about 10 feet tall you probably don’t need to worry about hedge cutting. If you do then you’ll know that the primary question is electric v petrol hedge cutter followed by ladders or telescopic cutter. The more sensible of you will default to option 3 – pay some other bugger to do it.
But anyway I have a petrol hedge cutter, some ladders and am a tight arse – so unsurprisingly this blog is about me doing it myself!
Firstly there is the process of refuelling. This is similar in complexity to NASA fuelling a Saturn 5 rocket for an Apollo mission to the moon. OK a slight exaggeration but we are talking about critical fuel to oil ratios. Get it wrong and you’ll get one of two outcomes. At best you’ll create a smog that would hide a mouse at five inches and at worst have a seized up lump of metal that previously traded as an engine!
My god, are you still reading this shit? Ok, armed with a correctly fuelled hedge cutter I entered the danger zone. This entailed firing up the machine then carefully climbing the ladders as SWMBO held onto the ladder to prevent accidental falls. It is at times like this that you appreciate it is not a good idea to make jokes at your other half’s expense. Literally a case of your life in their hands!
Sorry this is going on a bit isn’t it_?
So to the point – the bramble is bloodied but not dead. I only got pricked once. My hedge looks reasonably good again but there is still unfinished business between us.
Oh and to add insult to injury the bloody bramble was growing loads of berries that I know for a fact taste great in apple and blackberry crumble. Its almost as if if its taunted me!!
’til next time…….