So tonight we celebrate the good, the bad and the downright ugly!
Firstly I give you the frog. Let us rejoice at this remarkable amphibian who gives us so much joy. Is there a child on this planet who hasn’t learnt the life cycle of the frog? Indeed how many children have not seen or learnt of the wonders of frogspawn and tadpoles?
However at this point we should acknowledge the dark side of being a frog. Both of which are a result of good old homo sapiens.
Firstly the world is full of physcotic biology and physics teachers who get a perverse kick from passing electric currents through dismembered frog’s limbs to shock 12 year olds before they slash open a bull’s eye! Mmmm, feel the gore!
Secondly, our friends on the other side of the canal consider that les frogs legs et un delicacy!
My god predictive typing is having a field day with tonight’s topic!
So all in all the frog is good, almost too good so he s/he is dissected and eaten….
Slugs on the other hand are a lot easier to compartmentalise…
They eat my garden! In particular, along with their hard shelled compatriots, they just bloody eat anything that is remotely juicy or succulent. I hate them with a passion because they are true Pariah’s.
Trouble is birds like slugs and if you kill slugs with pellets the you kill birds with poisoned slugs. So, take my advice. Get out in the evening when it’s cool and dark. Listen for the munching sounds and, using a torch, pull the chomping bastards off your prize vegetation.
Then, having gathered the miscreants in a suitable area – pour a large dose of salt over them.
Leave overnight and you should find a large gloopy pile that can be scooped up and disposed of.
This gloopy mess resembles the most revolting slime you will ever come across.
Which leads me on to the last element of tonight’s missive.
How do we deal with the slimy people in positions of power who have managed to make such a mess of the world?
Pass me the rock salt would you?
’til next time….