Bramble “Face Off”

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If you are a regular visitor to MoM then you will recall that i have major ongoing issues with a bramble that has decided to set up home in my otherwise pristine privet hedge! Seriously you have to admire the sheer cunning of mother nature in her ability to manufacture creatures plants and organisms that can be parachuted in at a moments notice to destroy your handywork. I am losing count of the episodes this year where my efforts have been sabbotaged by an army of natural suicide bombers.

But back to the bramble. Today I decided to cut the hedge using my petrol hedgecutter. Now, if you don’t have a hedge that is about 10 feet tall you probably don’t need to worry about hedge cutting. If you do then you’ll know that the primary question is electric v petrol hedge cutter followed by ladders or telescopic cutter. The more sensible of you will default to option 3 – pay some other bugger to do it.

But anyway I have a petrol hedge cutter, some ladders and am a tight arse – so unsurprisingly this blog is about me doing it myself!

Firstly there is the process of refuelling. This is similar in complexity to NASA fuelling a Saturn 5 rocket for an Apollo mission to the moon. OK a slight exaggeration but we are talking about critical fuel to oil ratios. Get it wrong and you’ll get one of two outcomes. At best you’ll create a smog that would hide a mouse at five inches and at worst have a seized up lump of metal that previously traded as an engine!

My god, are you still reading this shit? Ok, armed with a correctly fuelled hedge cutter I entered the danger zone. This entailed firing up the machine then carefully climbing the ladders as SWMBO held onto the ladder to prevent accidental falls. It is at times like this that you appreciate it is not a good idea to make jokes at your other half’s expense. Literally a case of your life in their hands!

Sorry this is going on a bit isn’t it_?

So to the point – the bramble is bloodied but not dead. I only got pricked once. My hedge looks reasonably good again but there is still unfinished business between us.

Oh and to add insult to injury the bloody bramble was growing loads of berries that I know for a fact taste great in apple and blackberry crumble. Its almost as if if its taunted me!!

’til next time…….

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